Wrapped in Love

Dear Oliver,

You woke up screaming this morning. Usually throwing you on the boob will settle you instantly, but NOPE. Now I’m fully awake trying to see what is wrong. Your diaper leaked and you were soaked. That must be it. After getting your wet clothes off… usually that will calm you… but NOPE! “Shhhh, Oliver, it’s ok little man, it’s ok, shhhh.” I’m repeating this over and over while I change your diaper. Why are you still crying? These things usually work. I’m working at a faster pace now, Cody is now awake and all 3 of us are feeling frustrated for different reasons. I lay you against your dad to try and warm you back up now that you are changed and cleaned up. You are still upset, but the crying isn’t as intense. I crawl into bed on the other side of you and your dad and I get you to calm down with some loving shushes and you finally start to nurse. You fall asleep, nuzzled between mom and dad, holding both of our hands, content. Baby boy, our life together will have wins and it will have challenges, but you will always be wrapped in our LOVE.

Spilled Coffee

We were late leaving Saturday morning for our trip. Surprisingly, it wasn’t because of Oliver or poor planning, it was because of Eva. Instead of us leaving on time with excitement, we left 30 min late, me crying and Cody being pissed… oh and our apartment stairs being covered in Cody’s coffee. We have had Eva for almost 6 years (she’s almost 9! crazy!) and she has been a mamma’s girl since the beginning. She never leaves my side and has always been very attentive to my needs. When I got pregnant, I read a lot of woman say that unfortunately when your kids are born, its just different and the pets come 2nd. I told myself, “ABSOLUTELY NOT, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!” Maybe it was the added hormones, but I even cried a few times hugging her and promising her it wouldn’t be different. Well, Oliver is here and I try… I TRY SO HARD. When it’s time for a diaper change, or a feeding, or me sleeping… sometimes she just has to come 2nd. She’s never forgotten, it’s just as so many moms before me said… its just different. She LOVES Oliver, but she also seems different.. more melancholy perhaps? When its time to go for a walk, she gets extra excited and wants to stay out longer than usual, and she pulls when we go for walks more than ever. If she thinks we are going to leave the house and leave her behind, she wont listen at all and sits by the door and tries to run out (which she has never done before) and when she realizes we are taking her with us SHE IS OVERJOYED…. on Saturday, this happened. We were packing up and she was so antsy, as if she was afraid we were going to leave her behind. As it was time to load up, she wouldn’t stop pulling her leash and freaking out and pulled so hard, Cody dropped everything on the stairs and spilled coffee everywhere. In the moment, we were so annoyed and mad. As he’s in the house making more coffee, I started to really tear up. She was cooped up due to Covid, she had to adjust to the new changes, she is patient when Oliver gets most of time… she’s also a dog.. so communication just isn’t the same haha. BUT, I felt all the guilt just rush through me for being so angry with her as I really stopped and thought about her behavior the last 16 weeks and all the times I cut her walks short or I was annoyed with her. I broke my promise to her, but as Oliver gets easier, I’m committing to more 1 on 1 time and longer walks. Cody and I chatted about it afterwards, and we are so grateful for such a sweet dog and that she is so protective over him. To any other mamma’s pregnant with your first, Im so sorry that it will be different, but be patient with them as they go through such a big change too!