No positivity here

I will never see the sun rise, I will never see it set,
I will never feel a kind touch, I will never be a pet,
I will never feel love, For I will not be loved,
As I’m led to my murder, Being prodded, poked and shoved.

As they cut my tender skin, I wondered who would care,
If anybody out there, Would consider my despair.

For you did not see me die, And you did not see me bleed,
You did not hear me cry, For the meat that you don’t need.

You did not watch them kill me, You could not feel my pain,
You will try not to think of me,As you blindly eat again.

I was the cow you ate on Monday, The pig you had midweek,
I was the turkey for your Christmas, I was the calf you liked to eat.

I was the chicken in your sandwich, The duck you had for tea,
I felt pain beyond belief, But you never thought of me.

Because thinking can be painful, And you refuse to see,
That for every time you eat meat, Those animals must bleed.

The cow was killed for Monday, The pig was scolded too,
The turkey lived for 16 weeks, And the calf had died for you.

The chicken lived inside a cage, The duck could hardly move,
And all of this suffering, Occurred for so called food.

I fail to see a reason, As there is no need,
When humans eat my meat, It is purely for their greed.

You may think you’re above me, That you have advantage,
But a kind, innocent creature, Is better than a savage.

So next time you’re out shopping, Try to feel some guilt,
For those animals have died, for your eggs, your meat and milk.

My heroes are those people, Who will not bite into me,
So I ask a simple favour, And please stop eating meat.

I’m asking for the cows, The pigs and all the sheep,
I’m asking for the birds, Who are more than just some meat.

They can’t speak themselves, So please lets be their voice,
Every one born into this, For them there was no choice.

For you did not see me die, And you did not see me bleed,
You did not hear me cry, For the meat that you don’t need.


Brain Overload

Ok, so its only been 2ish weeks since I have made the life style change to be Vegan. I’m listening, reading and watching everything I can find.


I’m learning so many things that just make my heart hurt. I’m questioning my beliefs and changing my whole thought process on so many things. It’s not that I feel confused per say… its all coming from love and positivity and I’m firm on saying that I want to feel and BE healthy. Originally the decision was just based on that.. health. BUT.. now I’m seeing all of these tragic and heart breaking things about animal cruelty and I’m over here now like.. “WHHYYYY” Why was I not supportive to vegan friends in the past, why did I think it was extreme, why did I not just check it out years and years ago just to learn, why are so many people ignorant on the subject (me included), why are so many companies all about the money and blind to what they are doing to the earth and all the animals, why why why why why I COULD KEEP GOING. This is my brain every day X 1000.

I use to be all about the McDonalds (maybe more secretly cause who wants to admit they are a lil fatty haha). I would crave cheese burgers and yet I pass it now and I just think about all the animals that are murdered to make the food. To anyone who has known me a long time, you’re surprised as me that I’ve made this change. I put cheese on everything!

I don’t have too many coherent thoughts on this subject just yet. Right now, I’m focusing on educating myself more and finding yummy new recipes.

Update on how its going so far…  great. 🙂 I feel good when being intentional about what I use, wear and eat. I’ve been hugging my pets tighter and I now have new and exciting conversations to have with my boyfriend and close friends! I’m connecting with people all over the world who share the same passion and thats pretty neat! (We had a fridge full of coffee creamer and lots of Tuna though before I made this decision so to not be wasteful, I am trying to finish those off!)

My journey is just starting though!


Ways to Appreciate

Here’s just another holiday post.. you have probably been reading a lot of them! Family and friends talking about how much they love this time of year, presents and TIME OFF is filling your news feed and office! haha

Well, I LOVE this time of year. It’s my favorite holiday to get crafty and make Christmas Cards, decor and presents! Do I like to sit down for hours and “make” the cards… well thats not my faaaavorite part. (and is it just me, or is this time of year just extra busy?) It’s the time it takes and the gifting cards to people that makes the time worth it. My love language is time and there is just so many people in my life that I have no idea how to show them how much I freakin’ love them. So I glue some paper together and “here you go friend” haha.

The moment they are handed a card, there is a split second of just “awww” and gratefulness that makes me feel so good! I chase that feeling! I love to share it too. If people buy cards from me to give to a loved one, they feel all the feels too of someone getting a handmade card/gift made just for them!

Heres my post to encourage all you folks out there… even the grinch loves something homemade. Channel your inner craftiness and reap the rewards of taking the time to show your appreciation for someone vs only buying them something off of Amazon shipped to their door! (hey, not saying you shouldn’t buy something off of Amazon! haha)

Merry Christmas ❤


Pivot Point

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The last 10 years has been about searching, learning, failing and growing….

When I hit the 18 mark, I had said to myself “I’m officially an adult, I need to adult and have my shit together as quick as possible”. Well, I don’t know any 18 year old who has all of their shit together haha…  So of course… the next 10 years happened (time has a way of doing that!) and now here I am… looking back at my life and taking a good evaluation.

Married. Divorced. Moved a lot. Traveled a lot. Had terrible jobs and great jobs. Met amazing people. Experienced and saw terrible things. Those are some large (very broad) impactful things that changed the direction of my life multiple times. I would have never described myself as lost though. I always weighed decisions with pro’s and con’s and it was always in search of self happiness and love. I would say that nothing ever “stuck” though or was completely fulfilling. I would find something that made me so incredibly happy, yet I would end up quitting eventually and moving on from it. I would even become obsessed with things, good and healthy things, but I still stopped. I hated how I felt for quitting or not continuing the habit or lifestyle. (this is all related to health)

None of that is really the point though, just more of a background to this pivotal point in my life recently. The last 6 months (at least), I have really been struggling with my weight, healthy eating habits, and just all around taking care of myself. Like… I KNOW I should wash my make up off before bed, I would tell myself, “Amanda, it will take you a few minutes and you know you don’t want to risk breaking out” —— “Amanda, why the hell are you in bed playing on your phone… why didn’t you just wash your face, ugh you suck so hard” (I say a lot more swear words to myself haha but trying to keep this PG.) This is a tiny example, I could make hundreds more. Nothing was motivating me? I tried to constantly figure it out.

Self motivation did not work for me. Telling my inner conscious that I love myself did not do it either. Seeing healthy happy people with their shit together made me jealous… but that didn’t work as well! I looked at all aspects of my life to have a reason to blame it all on. I have an AMAZING job, the most incredible, loving and supportive boyfriend, pets that I adore, blessed with a home and car and I could keep going blah blah, I love my life, ok? haha. But apparently, I don’t love myself enough to put me first. I don’t want to be unhealthy, yet I can make sure the boyfriend takes his vitamins? what the fuck.

Any who, back to the self motivation part. I’ve had a lot of conversations the last month or so that have stuck with me related to the life style choice of having a plant based diet/being vegan. It was always so extreme to me. I come from a family who owned a restaurant in a meat locker… sooooo running around seeing dead animals hung up was not abnormal. I lived at the Olympic Training Center and have been surrounded by olympic athletes for the last 10 years and I was told I needed meat and animal products in my diet to be healthy. I just, never questioned it. Yet, for some reason, the last few months have really been weighing on me so I decided to do some research for myself.

Im going to skip a huge part of the story because… I could go on and on for what I have learned, but I will just tell you how I am feeling.

This is going to STICK friends. I have never felt this passionate about anything related to my health or habits. I’ve never been so hungry for information and i’ve never been so self aware. PIVOT MOMENT. I decided to make the lifestyle change. I have been vegan for only week and holy crap do I feel amazing! (I’m sure more posts on that in the future). My view on “having my shit together” has changed and I think I am going into my 30’s with a new and improved mindset. Still thankful for the last 10 years and what it has taught me!

I just want to keep learning and become educated on the subject. Right now, I’m in the “holy crap, there is so much” stage and surrounded by all the guilty feelings of just being ignorant my whole life…but, I’ve never been more ok with not having my shit together ’cause I’m going in the right direction that feels right FOR ME.


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